Hi Reader,

They say you can't go home again. I call bullsh*t. Last month, we piled into the car for a roadtrip from the sticks (Vermont) to the bricks (Brooklyn).

Thanks to the generosity of an old friend in the South Slope, we were able to stay in a beautiful house just blocks from where our kids were born, made their first friends, and were ruined on bagels and pizza from anywhere but NYC. I'm lookin' at you, Bagel Hole and Peppino's. Returning to our old stomping grounds, seeing old friends, and feasting on familiar delights, we all felt like we never left.

This got me thinking about the other ways we get into a rigid mindset about what is and isn't possible when it comes to home. Why do I care? I recently told a friend that my coaching for parents is less about screentime and more about home. I'm passionate about helping families love their lives at home, and believe that excessive screentime (of the unputdownable variety) erodes healthy connection between people - including families, neighbors, political parties, all of us.

Here's an example of an old fixed mindset of mine: once you give your kids a gaming console, there's no turning back.

For years, I surrendered to the reality that my kids would never choose to play outside or read books during idle time if gaming or scrolling YouTube shorts was an option. 2023 me never would've guessed that a radical shift at home was coming, or that I would one day muster the courage to spearhead it. But the motivation came in the form of desperation. I'm grateful that I got so desperate to restore a sense of healthy connection at home that I removed the most unputdownable screens, and lived to tell the tale. (spoiler alert, life is so much better on the other side).

When I was in Brooklyn, I gave my "Less Screens, More Life" talk at Brooklyn New School (BNS) in Carroll Gardens. At the end of the talk, I suggested that each parent challenge themselves to make "one tweak this week." It could be as simple as "no more screens at the dinner table" or as radical as "no devices in ANY bedrooms - for parents and kids." A few parents shared what they'd tweak, and I was reminded again that what we were talking about wasn't screentime, it was about creating the kind of warm and connected home that we want to go home to (and that many years from now, our kids will joyfully return to, and feel like they never left).

What's one tweak you'd like to make this week? I'd love to hear from you.

xo

Phoebe

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